"Give me liberty, or give me a Roundabout!" ~ Patrick Henry {revised}
I realized as I posted last week about
the numerous road trips that I would like to take, I neglected to mention some
very important pieces of advice to consider when planning a car trip. There are several to keep in mind so that you
can make the most of your travels . But
one Road Trip Rule stands head and shoulders above the rest! And I implore you to take it to heart when
you are planning your outing.
I became aware of this travel pitfall when I traveled to the "First in Flight" state....North Carolina. There they seem to have forgotten that we won the Revolution and are free from the tyrannical rule of the English Crown. It appears to me that they need a firm reminder that we won our independence and no longer need to appease the king (never mind the fact that England doesn't even HAVE a king right now!)!
I was in North Carolina with friends for
a conference when all the trouble began.
We had flown out (which tells you my frame of mind already, given how I
detest flying), and then rented a car to make the daily shuttle from our hotel
to the conference and back again. Maybe it was the fact that the van was
Japanese. Or maybe it was because our GPS was an Australian mate named, 'Lee'.
In any case, things began to take a turn for the worse. And a turn. And a turn.
And a turn......
Oh, sure, it started out innocently enough. We even stopped at the American institution, Wal*Mart to replenish our water supply. But, it was hard to feel very red, white and blue, when your driving guide announces in an Aussie accent that you have arrived at "W-Al Mort Sipper Cent-ear". From there, things just got worse. I even saw Miley Cyrus in a British Union Jack shirt! Isn’t she an American COUNTRY singer! I even tend to suspect that she may not know exactly where England is! Freedom people! We fought and died for it! I don't love country music, by any means, but those people usually bleed stars and stripes!
After we got our water, which, by the way, was bottled by Nestle, a SWISS company for goodness sakes.....we hopped back in our Toyota van and sidled up to 'Lee' as he led us through the back country to our hotel. (all the while passing restaurants like, The Olive Garden and Outback.....whatever happened to McDonald's? Oh! They are probably Scottish! Okay....getting off the soapbox now).
Please don’t misunderstand…I LOVE the melting pot that we are. I love that we have Australian GPS', Japanese cars (and sushi!!), Italian pizza and pasta, and Chinese husbands. Normally, I would never complain about our inclusive American culture. I almost always feel very blessed by it. BUT....there is one thing I cannot stand. It is a European import that I will NEVER embrace.
And I got STUCK on it that night in North Carolina. Oh yeah....you know it.....
The dreaded roundabout.
I hate them.
I was driving the van, to give my friend a break. We kind of had a deal. One drives and one navigates (and our kids constantly assist from the very, very back of the van!). So, there we were driving on the back roads. There isn't much to this part of North Carolina. Mayberry is no stretch of the imagination.....neither are their roads. Straight shots. Until.......
In the middle of God's Country, all of the sudden we come to a ROUNDABOUT! You know....those ridiculous traffic obstacle courses. One minute we are looking at hillbilly haven, and the next minute we are dropped on to the epitome of a traffic circus, the roundabout.
I am not sure exactly how many times we actually went around the roundabout, but it was a lot! Every time we would get to the other side of the roundabout, 5 different fingers would point in 5 different directions yelling at me to try to get off the roundabout. But, there was no escape. Round and round we went. Again and again. Over and over. I am pretty sure it wasn't me who started crying first....but by the time we finally got off, we all had tears running down our face!
And that was when I realized it. Roundabouts are an English plot. To distract the "Colonists" and lead them into fits of insanity. Sooner or later, we will all be stuck on a roundabout with Lobster-back troops marching in and then you will hear me screaming at the tops of my lungs.....
THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!
Oh, sure, it started out innocently enough. We even stopped at the American institution, Wal*Mart to replenish our water supply. But, it was hard to feel very red, white and blue, when your driving guide announces in an Aussie accent that you have arrived at "W-Al Mort Sipper Cent-ear". From there, things just got worse. I even saw Miley Cyrus in a British Union Jack shirt! Isn’t she an American COUNTRY singer! I even tend to suspect that she may not know exactly where England is! Freedom people! We fought and died for it! I don't love country music, by any means, but those people usually bleed stars and stripes!
After we got our water, which, by the way, was bottled by Nestle, a SWISS company for goodness sakes.....we hopped back in our Toyota van and sidled up to 'Lee' as he led us through the back country to our hotel. (all the while passing restaurants like, The Olive Garden and Outback.....whatever happened to McDonald's? Oh! They are probably Scottish! Okay....getting off the soapbox now).
Please don’t misunderstand…I LOVE the melting pot that we are. I love that we have Australian GPS', Japanese cars (and sushi!!), Italian pizza and pasta, and Chinese husbands. Normally, I would never complain about our inclusive American culture. I almost always feel very blessed by it. BUT....there is one thing I cannot stand. It is a European import that I will NEVER embrace.
And I got STUCK on it that night in North Carolina. Oh yeah....you know it.....
The dreaded roundabout.
I hate them.
I was driving the van, to give my friend a break. We kind of had a deal. One drives and one navigates (and our kids constantly assist from the very, very back of the van!). So, there we were driving on the back roads. There isn't much to this part of North Carolina. Mayberry is no stretch of the imagination.....neither are their roads. Straight shots. Until.......
In the middle of God's Country, all of the sudden we come to a ROUNDABOUT! You know....those ridiculous traffic obstacle courses. One minute we are looking at hillbilly haven, and the next minute we are dropped on to the epitome of a traffic circus, the roundabout.
I am not sure exactly how many times we actually went around the roundabout, but it was a lot! Every time we would get to the other side of the roundabout, 5 different fingers would point in 5 different directions yelling at me to try to get off the roundabout. But, there was no escape. Round and round we went. Again and again. Over and over. I am pretty sure it wasn't me who started crying first....but by the time we finally got off, we all had tears running down our face!
And that was when I realized it. Roundabouts are an English plot. To distract the "Colonists" and lead them into fits of insanity. Sooner or later, we will all be stuck on a roundabout with Lobster-back troops marching in and then you will hear me screaming at the tops of my lungs.....
THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!
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