"The TSA has issued some special packing tips for travelers before Thanksgiving weekend. They say to not bring food, sharp tools or any shred of dignity." ~ Jimmy Fallon
20 Questions! The Alphabet Game! I Spy! Slug-a-Bug! All classic travel games to make a trip more interesting and fun. But, Butterfly and I discovered a new game on the way home from California. All you need is 2 TSA Agents, 1 long line of impatient travelers, 1 CIA Agent in Langley, VA, a phone and 0 pieces of ID. It's called "Jeopardy! TSA Edition", and we played it like a BOSS.
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| Come on down! |
Being selected as a contestant on "J!TE" is really quite an exclusive process. Only one out of several hundred get a chance to play. You simply show up in the airport security line like everyone else...with one slight difference. You don't bring your identification. It's that simple! No TSA agent can resist giving you the opportunity to "come on down"!
Once you have been chosen as a competitor for "J!TE", a senior TSA Agent greets you at a special game podium and invites you to play the first round of the game, "To Tell the Truth to the CIA", on the phone. During this round of the show your mother is allowed to watch, but not allowed to coach you in any way, shape or form. Calling a friend, polling the audience or using any kind of lifeline is strictly prohibited. Any coaching from the audience results not only in expulsion from the game, but also a ride to the local CIA office for a bonus round of "Are You a Terrorist?" ( I'll take "I Swear My Parents are American Citizens" for 500, Alex.)
While playing "To Tell the Truth to the CIA", the contestant is invited to answer questions being asked of the TSA Agent by a CIA Agent for the contestant to answer. The rules just get more confusing from there.
CIA: La Paz Ct.
Contestant: What is...my former address?
CIA: XXXX
Contestant: What are....the last four digits of my dad's cell phone?
CIA: Monty Circle
Contestant: Ummmm...not sure.....ummmm....I'd like to buy a vowel please.
The "To Tell the Truth" part of the game show has a team bonus round if the contestant is very young and doesn't have much history recorded in Langley. In this round, "The Mom is Right", the competitor gets to include their mother on the team, because apparently the government has LOTS of information on her....even though she is very young and youthful looking, too. During this round of the game, the CIA asks questions of the original contestant and when she is unable to answer the question, the CIA requires the TSA to ask the mother the same question and one more...just to make sure she is Telling the Truth.
If you make it out of the "To Tell the Truth" and "The Mom is Right" rounds, you move on to "Make Me Laugh TSA Tickle Edition". I know this because we progressed to this part of the game, which involved walking through two different body scanners that actually required you to do some "TSA Twister" game moves first. After the contestant is given the literal green light on the body scanners, they are escorted to the game stage for a full patdown. But the fun doesn't stop there! Oh no, the fun. Does. Not. Stop. There.
Once the contestant manages to not giggle through the patdown, they progress to the last round of the game. That would be the "Let's Swab Your Deals" round. In this exciting game, the competitor is racing against the clock as the TSA Agent opens any and all luggage and wipes it down with some kind of coffee filter thing. Every item in the carry on is opened and swabbed, then the filter is put in a machine which scans it for...for....well, I don't exactly know - BUT...if you can have all your items swabbed without setting any alarms off in time to make your flight, you move on to the last event....
"Run for Your Life". In this round, both contestant and Mom make a mad dash to their airline gate because playing "Jeopardy! TSA Edition" has taken up all the time that would have allowed for a leisurely meander to the gate. In this last round, contestants bolt to the gate, run onto the plane and buckle up in a VERY limited amount of time. It is in this last round of the game, when the contestants think they have won the jackpot, that they find out there is one more game to play. "This is Your Life (Flashing Before Your Eyes)". In this final round of the whole game, the contestants join a whole team of airline passengers strapped into flimsy seats for a ride that bounces you from CA to CO. Awards go to competitors for "Loudest Prayers", "Child with the Largest Lung Capacity", "Synchronized Screaming" and more! If you can make it the whole two hours without throwing up, you win the Jackpot...they let you off the plane safely at your intended destination.
Game shows not your cup of tea? Then REMEMBER YOUR ID!
Gotta Mosey.
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