Heart and Seoul

"I shall make that trip.  I shall go to Korea." ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower

As I am finishing (read: STARTING) my laundry for my California trip and thinking about the best way to pack for a conference and erratic California temperatures without taking my whole closet, I have found myself reminiscing about other journeys I have taken.  I have had the opportunity to traverse the US several times, I have traveled from practically one end of Canada to another by train, I have even tolerated a jaunt to France (never again), but no trek I have ever taken compares to the one I took in October 2007.

In October 2007, we got a call from our adoption agency in Colorado that our agency in Korea had finalized, submitted and had received approval on all the paperwork it took to bring our son, Spidey, home.  In a matter of hours, we dropped off our kids and dog with friends and hopped a flight to Seoul, South Korea.

It drove me crazy when we got to Korea, because we could only see our son twice before we could get on a plane to bring him home.  That means just TWO 45 minute visits, on two different days....and we were in Korea for EIGHT days!  What do you do for the other 6 days?  Well, we distracted ourselves with a lot of sightseeing.  And in the course of those trips, we met a lot of fantastic people!

Going to Korea to bring Spidey home was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.  But besides the enormous blessing of my son, there was this incredible vacation that Kahuna and I got to experience.  Korea is the most fabulous place I have been.  I would go back in a heartbeat!  We had an amazing time, met amazing people, saw amazing things and were just...well...amazed the whole time we were there!  I HIGHLY encourage everyone to consider taking a trip there.

Korean National Treasure:  The North Gate (before it burned down)

Still need convincing?  Here are some of the top observations I made while there in 2007...(added notes from today in red)


1. Seoul REALLY reminds me of San Francisco....only A LOT bigger!
2. My husband no longer stands out in the crowd.....thereby making it a lot harder to keep track of him. If your spouse is Asian...consider bringing neon clothes for them.
3. Bibimbop is manna from Heaven! Everyone should try it. I ate it EVERY single day we were in Korea and now know how to make it at home!  I even have the stone bowls in which to prepare it!
4. Korea smells different than the US. It smells like garlic with a little underscent of cabbage. Yummy!
5. Everyone uses mass transit, all the time, all day long, everywhere you go......it is crowded.
6. Cleanest subways I have ever seen!   
7. Aussies are VERY fun to hang out with!! If you are traveling to Korea, I hope some are here to share time with.  There were a lot of Australians in Korea when we were there and we had a wonderful time hanging out with them...which leads me to believe somewhere in my future is a vacation in the Land Down Under.
8. I have yet to see one letter of graffiti anywhere!!!
9. Everyone is dressed like they are going to church.  I felt underdressed everywhere we went...but I was assured that the Koreans understood that we "are just Americans"?!!
10. Knee socks and high heels....together.....BIG fashion here!  And somehow they pulled it off magnificently!
11. Favorite accessory in Korea.....Ipod. (some things seem to be similar with the US!)
12. If you stop and look confused, people will try to help you.  The people in Korea were SO nice and willing to talk with you and help in any way!  This was a huge plus, considering how my trip to France was the ABSOLUTE, complete opposite.  Did I mention I am never, ever, ever going back to France?
13. Kimchi pancakes....also manna from Heaven! Gotta have it!  Glad I had them, they ended up being Spidey's favorite dish (still is).
14. Soju is extremely overrated. Pass.  Definitely pass.
15. Hyundais are pretty good looking cars.  Though, it was kind of hard to tell for sure when they came  speeding AT you at 70 mph!
16. Samsung makes everything...electronics, cars, ships, the list goes on and on.
17. In 1975, most houses in Korea still had thatched rooves!
18. I have not seen one homeless person yet.
19. Instant coffee tastes better the more caffeine withdrawal you go through!
20. We love Seoul!!! It is beautiful, the people are wonderful, the guests at the guest house where we are staying are so much fun and we are so thankful for the opportunity to be here!  I want to go back so badly!

Sometimes, I wonder if Korea was all a dream.  Spidey has been with us so long and is such a Yuen, that I can hardly remember that there was a time he wasn't with us.  I wonder if I have such an attachment to Korea because of the reason I was there.  I know that has to be part of it.  But, while reading over this list that I made 6 years ago, I remember that it wasn't just Spidey.  Korea is beautiful and the people are wonderful.  In some ways, it WAS a dream...a lovely one.  And one I can't wait to relive one day.

SPIDEY!!!  Wasn't he cute????

Because I went there and because I had such a connection to Seoul and the people there, I can't help but be extremely saddened by the escalating tension between North Korea and South Korea.  I continue to pray for both nations and for peace of mind for the South Koreans especially.  Please join me.

And while I am praying for them, I will be digging out all my bermuda shorts and washing everything else so I can go to California.  So...pray for me, too.  I hate laundry.

Gotta Mosey!

Daytripper - Min Svenska Semester

After finally getting some good travel weather here in Colorado, I decided to make a trek with the family.  I figured I might as well kill two birds with one stone.  I would prepare for my fall trip to Lindsborg, KS, where I will be searching for Dala Horses while dancing in the street, AND buy some much needed new bowls.  And when you are buying cheap consumer goods and rubbing elbows with all things Swedish here in the States, you can only be at one place!

IKEA.

Yes, I know everything one buys at IKEA is only expected to last a short time.  But, I am still not convinced that is because it is poor quality.  I think it has something to do with the fact that we Americans cannot read the Swedish assembly directions, nor can we understand the schematic pages included.  It matters not...IKEA is a one day Swedish Vacation.  A chance to experience a little bit of Scandinavia without paying big bucks and mental breakdowns to fly there.  It's perfect!  So off we went.

It has been a long time since I have gone to IKEA with the whole family.  As a matter of fact, I am not sure Lizard Boy has ever been, and in his 6 little years, I know Spidey has never set foot inside.  Even the Big Kahuna hasn't braved the store since Junior was a baby, 12 or 13 years ago!  Have you ever had that experience where something seemed pretty cool when you went with your friends, but then you went again with your family and you had a whole different filter?  The things that were "neat" before, are slightly wrong now that you are with children?  Yeah, that happened to me, too.

It's not that IKEA is a bad place.  It's just...hmmm...it's just....uhhhh....it's just...not quite right in the head.  It is kind of like going to the circus.  You know it is supposed to be fun.  You know it should awe and amaze you.  But, really, you're just waiting for a clown to rip out a Psycho knife and go to town on the audience!  Somethin' ain't quite right.  And going to the retail moderskepp (mother ship) with my kids made me acutely aware of that fact!

Still trying to figure out what I am talking about?  Let me give you some examples:

Probably the most difficult thing to overcome, at first, is that nothing is as it seems. Due to the items' "unique European design", it is hard to tell what their use is.  Swedish things don't look like American things.  So, we need labels.  Which IKEA complies with...not that it helps us understand Scandinavian reasoning. Nothing is just a cup or a vase or a blanket.  No, they all have crazy names. Take for instance...this unusual item.

In the words of Lizard Boy..."What IS that?"  Unfortunately, I could not answer him.  The good news on this particular item, however, is that it did come with a label....

Ahhhh, yes, of course!  A bowl!  I never would have guessed with all the holes in it, that it would be a device for eating, say, soup, out of!  Those wacky Swedes!  Ha ha, chuckle, chuckle, cough, cough....gag.

To my chagrin, this was the last item that was clearly labeled.  Everything else was just a crap shoot!  Some things were obvious, like this lovely child's toy:

It is obviously a play tent.  In fact, in IKEA-ese, it is a:

That was an easy one.  But from there on out, no names gave any clue as to what the item was!  If I had been given a handful of tags with instructions to match it to the item in the store they represented...I would still be there!  Honestly, I felt like I was trapped in Disney's The Little Mermaid.  I was looking for Snarfblatts and Dinglehoffers the whole time I was there.  

But the labeling turned out to be the least of my worries.  

Really the most sinister side of IKEA became evident as we entered the Children's section, or as they call it, Smol-something-or-other.  I can't remember anymore.  It's all just a tangle of letters and umlauts after awhile!!  Anyway...the kids section is where I began to have grave concerns regarding bringing my children to IKEA.  This should have been the "safe" section of the store, but it was like the carnival.  Bright colored, inviting, with fun music and little animals frolicking on all of their wares....but you were still waiting for a wicked carnie to jump out at you at any moment!  It seemed innocuous at first.  But that's how they hook you.  It is so inviting, the barnavdelning (children's section).  They entice the youngsters with a fun little entrance that puts them on their knees to crawl into the Rabbit Hole that leads them to some freakish version of Wonderland (and that is saying something, because Alice in Wonderland is freakish already!)

I should have known all was not as it seemed.  Considering this foreboding entrance...

Oh, sure, at first glance it looks like all  friendship and huggy hearts, but what it really is is just a reworking of this little lovely...

Dead Kids Tell No Tales

  Once you make your way through the crawlspace, IKEA then starts instilling a false sense of security in your children.  Like the bully at school who befriends you first and then pummels you for lunch money later!  It seems innocent enough...sweet bunnies in magicians' hats.  

Or cute Moosenkuffen:

Or Frogelmonkeystats:

Toys for children.  Sweet children.  Sweet toys.  But in reality, it is just like the evil Queen and King in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang...luring children out into the streets with toys, candy and Swedish Meatballs and then locking them up in prison!  As a matter of fact, I am pretty sure Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is Swedish for, "We got you now, you little pipsqueaks!"

Note the driver's Evil Magician Hat!

Before you know it, your children are spirited away from you as they wander further into the IKEA Children's Section, where the Super Store continues their sick plot to completely wig your kids out!  It is all a subtle attack to play with your kids' heads.  For example, look at these sweet curtains, with the very popular owl motif we see everywhere...

Cute, right?  Moons and sleepytime birds watching over your little sweet peas.  Doesn't get much more innocent, does it?  OR DOES IT????  Have a closer look....

Just as your little darlings are saying, "Good Night Moon" to their dreamy curtains, this GIANT spider comes into view!  REALLY?  Do Swedes not have enough trouble trying to get their kids to sleep like we Americans do??  WHY do there need to be tarantulas hiding in every pleat?!  Mean, I tell you...just plain contemptible!  

But maybe you are one of the smart ones.  You see the poisonous spider on these curtains, so you opt for animal friend curtains instead.  Something to send your kiddos off to Sweet Dreamland.  Furry, fuzzy, fun and cute. 

What could be more inviting to Dreamville than these little critters trotting along.  In fact, they seem to be in a hurry to get to Sandland.  On closer observance, though, we see their pace has nothing at all to do with getting to sleep.  They are actually trying to escape the jowls of their fearsome enemy!

Ah yes, nothing (in Sweden) says, "Sleep Tight!" like the ravenous Big, Bad Wolf!  That poor unsuspecting porcupine is just like your innocent babies!!!!  

So what is a kid to do when they are surrounded by hulking spiders and murderous wolves in their bedroom at night?  Hide in their little garden-themed bedding of course.  (also available at IKEA)

Now, THAT's more like it.  A precious garden to lay down their little sleepy heads.  Tranquil and serene.  Or is it?  I ask you....OR IS IT?!  Because look at who oversees the garden!

Oh sure, there are little hearts between the couple.  But, c'mon.  You know this is all you see when you look at this bedspread:

Also Scandinavian, I might add....Freaks!

How is THAT supposed to relax a Kindergartner?!  It's just a nightmare waiting to happen!!!  It's that kind of freakshow that caused Jef to ask, upon escaping the Kids' Nightmare on Alm Gata, "Is that a chair or a dead frog?"  You be the judge....it's hard to tell at IKEA.

Once, we got out of the Children's area, we were hungry from wandering the IKEA maze for THREE HOURS.  So, we meandered around for another half hour as we tried to find our way upstairs to the cafe, where we found this little peace of mind before ordering dinner:

No horse meat there!  No matter...we might not have cared.  We were just hungry, scared and scarred tourists at this point!  We just needed food and an escape route! Which we found, tak och lov!

As we counted ourselves lucky to make it out of IKEA without losing any children, we noticed two things that may explain why IKEA executives have hindered judgment:

A little too much of this available to them in the store:

Just WHAT makes it so festive??

And check out what they supply in the parking lot on the way out:

In any case, I ended up with some fantastic bowls at a fraction of the cost of what I would have been charged at a less adventurous store, so I count it as a profitable vacation.

Have you ever been to IKEA?  Let me know your survival stories in the comments section!  Right now, I

Gotta Mosey!

Airport Antics

"Travel is only glamorous in retrospect." ~ Paul Theroux

I am a couple of days short of four weeks until Butterfly and I leave for California.  As I prepare to fly back to my home state, I have had to think a lot about packing.  Usually, we drive and I have lots of room for multiple suitcases and ice chests for two days' worth of snacks.  Now that Butterfly and I are traveling by plane, I am having to plan much more strategically.  This planning is beginning to spill over into the other areas of my trip.

Part of the time we are in California, we will be working.  The rest of the time is leisure time with friends and family to enjoy Butterfly's new life as a college grad.  So, I want to make sure we make the most of our time.  I don't want to get sick.  I don't want to miss my flight.  I don't want any travel disasters to overtake us.  Therefore, I have been researching all kinds of things to avoid when I travel so that my trip remains productive, orderly and enjoyable.

According to BootsNAll, the #1 travel pitfall  to avoid is an area prone to natural disasters.  Ummmm...did I mention we are going to CALIFORNIA?

San Francisco Bay Bridge following the Loma Prieta Earthquake 1989

The Great Quake of 1908

Bet your state doesn't even HAVE an Earthquake Authority!

This is what my whole child looked like.  DUCK and COVER!

California has approximately 37,000 earthquakes a year!  Roughly 10,000 of them occur in Southern California, where they are well deserved.  But the rest happen in the other parts of the state.  We will be in Northern California where some of those other TWENTY SEVEN THOUSAND quakes shake it!  Fat chance on avoiding natural disasters!

The next pitfall to avoid says, Readers Digest, is being seated next to a drunk passenger on your flight.  During a recent international flight, a man drank a whole bottle of duty-free alcohol and became unruly and out of control.  Ya think?  The flight attendants took care of the situation with a roll of duct tape. Yes, they strapped him to his seat with duct tape to the point that he was unable to break free! This must be why Magellan's  travel goods site sells travel size duct tape - just in case the stewardesses need help. Think my neighbors will mind if I practice on their cat?

Another travel nightmare to try to circumvent is losing your luggage.  I have pretty much resigned myself to the fact that my bags will be lost.  I am coming from a state dumb enough to legalize recreational marijuana use to a state that desperately WANTS legalized recreational pot.  You know some of those guys are gonna take off with my bag in hopes for a little Rocky Mountain High.  Won't they be sorry when they find out I am not that kind of girl!  Sorry enough to ditch my luggage, I bet!  I am thinking that this suitcase might make those airport guys stay away from my bag.  I like it in green.  What do you think?

Of course my biggest travel woe to be concerned with is the one that I have spent countless childhood hours being asked to solve already:  "A 555 mile, 5 hour plane trip was flown at two speeds.  For the first part of the trip, the plane flew at 105 mph.  Then a tailwind picked up and the plane flew the rest of the way at 115 mph.  For how long did the plane fly at each speed?"   This travel anxiety provided courtesy of  Purple Math.  Fortunately, all those years of word problems in school helped me with this answer.

Solution:  Who cares?  As long as I am ON the plane!

See you on the ground. Right now, I

Gotta Mosey

Kentucky Yucky

 "Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

 If you are considering some Road Trip Fun anytime soon, I think it is only fair to warn you that road tripping is not for the faint of heart.  You need to be flexible, polite...and...well....quite brave!  If you read my posts from the past couple of days, you have learned that eating on the road requires a bit of courage sometimes.  But, dining out isn't the only act that elicits bravery when you are on a road trip.  If you are traveling overnight, you also need to consider accommodations.  Hotels and motels can be far scarier than the eating establishments when you are traveling.  And if you are in Kentucky, eating AND sleeping is challenging!


Last summer, after we left the Awful Waffle, we made our way to Williamsburg, VA.  After a few GLORIOUS days there, we left Williamsburg and headed to Norfolk where Kahuna was catching a flight home. And leaving us to fend for ourselves. Before we dropped him at the airport, we stopped at a hotel to book a room and were surprised to find that the hotel had NONE.  This had never happened to us before.  When we asked if the hotel could recommend another place, they said anywhere NOT in Virginia Beach or Norfolk, as the Navy was deploying and everyone and their brother had rented every single room in every single hotel for miles around.  We sat in our car for the next half hour calling around and trying to find a hotel.  We finally got one.  Clear back in Newport News, near Williamsburg.  We went all the way up there, had dinner, and then I took Kahuna all the way back to Norfolk before driving all the way back to the hotel.

Travel Rule #1: Be flexible....and make sure you book in advance.  

Before I took Kahuna to the airport, we all went to a restaurant for dinner.  The hotel manager suggested Taco Bell.  When we asked if there was anything else, he told us if we were looking for "fine dining" we should try Luigi's.  We weren't looking for a fine dining experience, since that is virtually impossible to enjoy with 5 and 7 year old boys who have been cooped up in a car all day and really just want to go swimming in the hotel pool (because the one in Williamsburg was being repaired)...but our only other option was "Chinese Food".  That was the actual name of the restaurant....Chinese Food.   We were almost willing to ignore the complete lack of creativity in the name of the restaurant, but the description made us think twice.  Philippino (Filippino), Chinese and Thai.  Since my husband and children are Chinese, and since I am an educated person, one thing I know is, not all Asians are the same.  Stick with one food and do it well...don't try to appeal to the masses.  So, given the choices, we opted for Luigi's Fine Dining.

The first thing I noticed when I walked into Luigi's is that one of the owners of the establishment looked a lot like my Great Aunt.  That is a good thing.  My Great Aunt Mary was an amazing cook!  The second detail that caught my attention was the overwhelming aroma of mothballs.  Ugh.  Everything about the restaurant smelled like it had been sitting in an attic somewhere for decades, but what are you going to do when you skipped lunch and everyone is starving?  Our waitress, Helen (not her real name), greeted us and was quite knowledgeable about what we would and would not like.  Such as her determination that we would NOT enjoy the Greek Salad, because it was "boring" and that instead we would want an Antipasto Salad.  Helen, our 5' 10" blond waitress then proceeded to educate me, the Sicilian, as to what Antipasto was!  I mentioned that since we were having a lot of the same meat on our pizza as was in the Antipasto, we probably were good with the Greek salad.  She insisted this was a waste of her time to make and of our taste buds.  We got the Antipasto.  Once Helen settled what kind of salad we would be having, we asked her what the "Sicilian Special" pizza was.  She answered with a burly, "You don't want that."  Really?  How did she know that?  She then explained that it takes 45 minutes to make the Sicilian Special because, "they have to make the dough".  Hmmmmm....what were they using for the regular pizza we were ordering?  I decided not to ask, as Helen had already made up her mind what was best for our family and how much would be required.  Once we polished off our salad and pizza, Helen continued to remark on "how much" we ate!  She told tales to us of every patron who came in and had to take boxes of food home because they couldn't finish all the food provided.  Now, I ask you, WHY was she surprised that we ate it all?  SHE is the one who told us how much to get to feed our family.  There was no choice involved.  She wrote it on the order pad and TOLD us what we were getting!  She went on and on about our ability to do what no one else could and I began to weigh the pro's and con's of Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig and Nutri-System.  Surely she was saying I needed to be doing one of them!!  She remarked about "all the kids" I had, and was surprised to hear we had one more.  She asked about her, and as I started to tell her that our other daughter was our oldest she just walked off.  Clearly, there was no love connection between our family and Helen, which is why I was totally caught off guard when she brought us our check with a pouty lip about how sad she was that we were not coming back.  Pretty sure she was just trying to boost her tip.

Travel Rule #2:  Be polite to the locals.  And never bet against a Sicilian in a food war!

The next day, our ride was completely uneventful and easy.  No problems or challenges.  Even with Kahuna gone.

And then we got to the hotel.

Our hotel tonight was wonderful!  Two queen beds that were actually QUEEN size beds and not doubles.  A lovely vanilla smell.  Comfy quarters and Little House on the Prairie playing on a continuous loop.

So....imagine my surprise, when late at night after all my kids have bathed and gotten into bed, I pulled out the nightstand to search for an outlet for my phone charger and found a MOUSE TRAP instead!!!!  WHAT?!  It was a glue trap, not the conventional snap-o-the-neck kind.  I could see little droppings!  YIKES!  I refused to look inside the torture device.  Of course I called down to the desk to see if there was any way I could move to a room that did not have a mouse issue.  OF COURSE, every room was booked!  REALLY???  Is the Navy deploying from Kentucky, too????  I hung up the phone and the kids and I proceeded to flip every mattress and checked every single square inch of the room looking for more signs of rodents.  At this point, I find it necessary to tell you that we had been listening to Redwall with the boys on this drive and Spidey thought it was quite sad that there might be a chivalrous mouse stuck inside a rodent tent trap.  The girls and I worried more about Cluny the Scourge (a rat) being on the prowl.  The kind desk gal did tell me that they would discount my room....DISCOUNT?  It should have been FREE!  I was stuck in a strange, small town in Kentucky for goodness sakes!  Too late to go anywhere else!!  Discount???

I called back down to the desk and asked them to send someone up to at least take the trap out of the room.  The girl at the desk kindly offered to come get it herself since she was "not afraid of it".  I am not afraid of it either...I just don't think I, a paying guest should have to deal with it!  Gross.  Once she came upstairs, she removed the trap and looked inside and pleasantly said, "See?  Nothing inside."  Ummmm....I think that was supposed to comfort me.  But it didn't.  Doesn't an empty trap mean that there is still a mouse on the loose????  I had nowhere to go and it was too late to pack the car and head for who knows where.  I mean...it was Kentucky!  The place that as we crossed the state line, inspired my seven year old to say, "Welcome to Hellburg!" because "that's what it looks like!"  It isn't like there were a lot of choices close by!  Ugh!

So....there I sat all night.  Unable to sleep.  Listening for the pitter patter of tiny feet.  Which brings us to....

Travel Rule #3:  Challenges on the road grow your character and your courage and make GREAT blog posts!

I can't wait to see what my trip to California brings.  Time to get a move on because I

Gotta Mosey

The Awful Waffle

"When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "What is the first thing you ask yourself?"

"What's for breakfast?" said Pooh.  "What do you say Piglet?"

"I say, I wonder what is going to happen exciting today." said Piglet.

Pooh nodded thoughtfully.  "It's the same thing," he said.

~ AA Milne

Yesterday's post about Cracker Barrel should be enough for you to realize that our family of Trendy Travelers fears not when it comes to eating on the road.  But that was Cracker Barrel.  Other than risking life and limb sitting under combines, plows and other assorted farm equipment, there isn't too much to worry about when you eat there.  So, for those of you who desire more adventurous eating adventures on the road, I submit today's Road Trip Food for Thought.


Last summer, the kids and I drove out to Regent University in Virginia Beach, VA for conference.  All the kids except Butterfly, who, after several months last year traveled the US and lived out of a suitcase (a SMALL suitcase), has vowed never to travel with more than 6 people for more than 500 miles again in her life.  Ever. No matter how big the vehicle is.   She flew back east before us to help prepare for the conference and  then met us at Regent.

It was a wonderful conference and I look forward to attending again this summer...but I had an experience unlike any other and that commentary has to come before I write about anything else.  While the conference itself was exciting, informational and fun, breakfast on the first morning after the conference was something I cannot keep to myself.

That morning, for the first time in my life...I experienced the phenomenon known as 

The Waffle House.

Perhaps you have seen these establishments before.  They are small restaurants that appear more frequently at every single freeway exit, on both sides of the freeway, the further east you go.  For example, in Colorado we have a Waffle House about every 4th or 5th freeway exit on one side of the freeway.  By the time you reach Tennessee, there are 3 to 4 Waffle Houses on EACH SIDE of the freeway at every single exit...usually right next to the Cracker Barrel.  

While Waffle Houses are everywhere, I had never been to one. I had never even MET anyone who had eaten at one.  Then I went to Tennessee in the summer of 2011.  I stayed with my friend, and her charming father spent a bit of time with us as well while we visited.  He always came over in the morning, but he never ate breakfast with us.  He had already eaten at the local Waffle House.  In fact, he ate at the Waffle House most every morning he proudly told us.  

So as I remembered my friend's father eating at a Waffle House every morning, I bravely thought, "How can you mess up breakfast?" and we made our way to the yellow hut.

If you have never eaten at the Waffle House, I need to tell you that you are missing a unique breakfast experience that has nothing to do with food!  

Upon our arrival, Sandra (names have been changed to protect the ignorant) greeted our party of 7.  She seemed to have difficulty counting past one handful of fingers because I THINK she then asked us how many were in our party but it was hard to tell through the whistling sound of air passing through the blank spaces in her mouth where her teeth should have been.  In any case, The Waffle House was bustling with all kinds of interesting patronage and Sandra eventually did enough math to know she had to seat our party at two different tables.  

As we sat,  Kevin asked CynThia if she would like the opportunity to serve us.  She naturally answered, "Not really," because our tables were separated by one table.  At this point, I need to explain the layout of our Waffle House.  There were three booths all in a row and CynThia stands behind the counter that is behind all three booths to take the order.  Therefore, instead of taking ONE step to take an order, she would actually have to take two and that seemed to be more than poor CynThia could handle this morning.  So, Kevin was the chosen wait staff for our two booths.

Kahuna, Lizard Boy, Spidey and I waited a long time for Kevin to take our order.  This was awkward, because, the set-up of the Waffle House means Kevin was standing right in front of us on the other side of our booth.  He seemed to be avoiding eye contact.  Finally, he set some coffee cups down and said he would be right with us.  Then he added, "I am trying to find some clean silverware somewhere around here."  HUH?  This begged a whole new answer to my original, simple question, "How can you mess up breakfast?"

As we awaited "clean" silverware (and I use that term, oh SO loosely), I looked around at the rest of the greasy spoon.  I lost hope of ever seeing clean silverware. Sandra kept leaving her trash can at everyone's table and forgetting where it was.  I found this amusing since the Waffle House only has about 6 tables in it.  Then she left the trash can near our table.That wasn't so amusing.  The waffle irons sported caked on, baked on "dark waffle" batter.  And Jocelyn assured me I did NOT want to see their back room which she kept getting a good view of when the workers on break would throw out another carton of hash browns to the waiters.

I never did find out what a dark waffle was.  Honestly, I was afraid to ask.  Waffle House has its own lingo and I couldn't tell what ANYONE was eating.  CynThia was just standing behind the counter barking out demands for dark waffles, hash browns that were scattered, smothered, covered and diced, while Kevin pleaded for hash browns "all in a ring".  While my brain was busy trying to decipher how a dive like this made enough money to bribe the health inspector to overlook the lack of clean silverware and anything else clean, my boys were thrilling to the aroma of their waffles and bacon!  Lizard Boy said the waffles smelled and tasted like marshmallows, and he meant that in a good way.  I put aside my reservations and tried to see things through my niece's eyes.  She thinks it would be "fun" to work there.

In the end, we were well fed.  The boys were never happier over eating breakfast out.  And I remembered something I wish I would have thought of when we were making our morning meal plans.  And that is:

My friend's dad, who eats at one of the little yellow diners most every morning, affectionately referred to the Waffle House as the Awful Waffle.  He got a biscuit and gravy for a buck (maybe he is the health inspector and that is the bribe.  I don't know).  And my friend?....She and her husband make moonshine in their bathtub.  I probably should have taken all those things into account and found an IHOP, where the classy people go for breakfast.

I will try that next time because right now, I

Gotta Mosey!

Jilly of Chincoteague

"She's just a piece of wind and sky."  Grandpa Beebe, Misty of Chincoteague

I have three daughters.  And I am a girl, myself.  And if there is one thing I know...girls LOVE horses!  It may not be a love affair that lasts a lifetime, but for at least a few years in their youth, girls would love nothing more than to own and ride a horse of their own.  And brush it's mane.  And braid it.  And curl its tail. And paint its hooves pretty colors.  And put pretty clothes on it.  Horses, to a young girl, is a type of four-footed Barbie...with twice the hair to style!

As girls grow up and their pony interests become keen, well-meaning parents (usually mothers) introduce the works of Marguerite Henry to their daughters.  Henry wrote 59 books based on true stories of horses from all over the world, but the one that most girls start with is Misty of Chincoteague.

Misty is the foal of Phantom, both of who make the swim from Assateague Island in Virginia/Maryland to Chincoteague Island in Virginia.  The Beebe children are determined to buy a pony at auction and raise it.  It is every girls first foray into the addiction that is horses.

For the next couple of years, at least, after reading the book, young ladies will read 58 more works by Henry, buy enough Breyer Horses to start her own virtual horse farm, and beg for horse riding lessons.  And if you cave on that, heaven help you!

I read the Henry books when I was a girl, and while I no longer have a desire to own a horse, I still enjoy riding them, when I get the chance.  But more than riding a domesticated horse, seeing a pony in the wild, the way Henry described, is still something I greatly desire to see.  And that is why my Dream Destination today (and always) is:

The Pony Swim from Assateague Island to Chincoteague Island

The ponies on Assateague Island are believed to descend from ponies that escaped a shipwreck that is believed to have occurred in 1750.  Since then, herds of "beach ponies" have been present on the island.  They are wild, which means no riding or hair styling for them.

However, in 1925, the sorely inadequate Chincoteague Volunteer Fire Department held a festival as a fund raiser during the annual swim and were able to modernize their equipment for the department with the money they raised.  Beginning in 1947, the Fire Department on the island began buying and building its own herd.  The fire department, to this day, owns the herd that is swum across the channel and receives the proceeds from the auction of the foals on Chincoteague.

Besides the Pony Swim, Chincoteague also offers other activities.  Most of these involve tours of the island...by foot, by bike or by boat.  I am just thinking there is one mode of transportation that is missing from this list...by HORSE.  Perhaps it is only the fire fighters who are allowed to capitalize on the horses' fame, but it sure seems like it is a natural fit to have horse tours of the island. And profitable.  I do not believe that most visitors to Chincoteague come for the Easter Decoy and Art Festival.  There is a reason that this...

is just not going to drum up as much interest or dollars as this...

I am no rocket scientist, but it seems to me that when an island of 3,000 people sees 40,000 more people every year for a three day event, it might be time to realize that the horses are a big deal.  Of those 40,000 people, probably 40,000 of them are there for the ponies and horse related activities.  They do offer pony rides in an enclosed pen and they have Pony Day Camps, where kids can do everything with a real, live Chincoteague pony...except ride one.  I do not understand the sacred status of the beach pony.  They are hardy animals!  They live off sea grass and semi-fresh pond water and swim the ocean yearly with their babies.  They can surely handle a 70 pound child for an hour or two.  And if the kids can ride, then they just need to have horses available for the adults to accompany them and voila!  Instant two hour, memory-making,  trek for the tourists and year round profitable business for the locals!!  

There are a couple of things to keep in mind if you do go to Chincoteague:

Beware Post Pony Depression

As I said,  I would be content to see these gorgeous beach ponies swim the channel and then see them at auction. Not all people are content with that, so there are other pony offerings on Chincoteague. Visitors can go to the Pony Show and watch the Chincoteague Pony Drill Team strut their stuff.  I just hope I can hear them over the little girls in the audience who are crying because they can't ride "Misty". On a lighter note, one of the other highlights of Chincoteague according to their website is Island Creamery, where they hand make ice cream.  Perhaps that is the real money maker.  The bribe offered all disappointed children on the island.

Deceptive Advertising

If you sign up to ride the Pony Express, be advised...there are no horses involved in this tour.   It is advertised as a trolley that tours the island, but it is not even a trolley.  No horse, no horse-drawn trolley (even Disney has THAT and they don't make a livelihood off horses!), no TROLLEY!  It's a bus.  That looks like a trolley.

But, all of the crying and bribery and disappointment and deceptive advertising isn't going to stand in my way.  I still have the memory of Misty too strongly in my heart to pass up an opportunity to see any of her 80 remaining relatives swim the channel.  I just want to be able to go before my daughters are out of my house and miss the opportunity to realize this dream with me.  After all, we are just horse-loving little girls at heart when it comes to the Ponies of Chincoteague.

So if you have girls...and boys (cuz I am making my boys come along)...don't miss this once-in-a-lifetime chance to make their dream to be a part of an incredible story come true.  And as the Saltwater Cowboys on Chincoteague would say (I think they would say it.  I would say it if I was a Saltwater Cowboy), I

Gotta Mosey.

Valkommen! Ja!

"This doesn't look like Kansas, Toto." ~ Dorothy, in the Wizard of Oz

Well, here we are on Day 2 of my Dream Destinations week.  I hope that yesterday's jaunt to Graceland didn't cause you to lose faith in journeying with me.  I know that Graceland is the epitome of gaudy ostentatiousness, but, come on....it's Elvis.

However, for those with more sophisticated tastes, who desire culture and refinement, today's foray may be just the thing to redeem myself!  

Dream Destination #2:  Svensk Hyllningsfest in Lindsborg, Kansas

Lindsborg is a town in Kansas that was settled by Swedish pioneers in 1869.  To say it is a small town is an understatement.  As of 2011, the 1.5 square mile town had just 3,465 residents.  But it is rich in Scandinavian tradition!  And every fall of odd numbered years, Lindsborg hosts Svensk Hyllningsfest - a festival to honor the town's Swedish heritage.  There is traditional folk dancing, music, arts, entertainment, Dala Horses and smorgasbord!  Pure culture.  No kitsch here!

It is my opinion that nothing screams cultural diversity more than a town of 3500 Swedish descendants celebrating their heritage at a traditional Swedish Honoring Festival in the fall.....in KANSAS.  Seriously speaking,  I am sure that our Amer-Asian family will drastically change the town's demographics when we show up, just by increasing the number of brunettes in Lindsborg. But, I am also sure that Lindsborg may be the closest retreat we have to a foreign country and well worth the travel into the flatlands of Kansas.

I look forward to attending the festival in October of this year.  They already have a whole schedule of events for the weekend of the Svensk Hyllningsfest, including, but not limited to smorgasbord, folk dancing, clogging (by a traditional Swedish group from the booming metropolis of Marquette, KS, population 641), folk dancing, arts and crafts, folk dancing, smorgasbord, folk dancing WITH the audience, smorgasbord and folk dancing!  Yes, there'll be swingin', swayin', records playin'...."dansing" in the street!  And food.

And apparently a Dala Horse hunt.  Not to eat.  Just to find.  There are many, many Dalas all over town and so the challenge is to see how many you can find.  Including the City Hall Dala - Fala, the Dala Brick Road.  No joke.  That is the town's most famous Dala Horse!  In Kansas....get it?  Oh those riotous Swedes!

Besides going to Lindsborg for their festival and their obvious sense of wit and whimsy, I would like to visit some of their Top 5 Attractions (which actually lists dozens of attractions, which tells me the Swedes of Lindsborg know how to have a good time...but not how to count).  Fine dining abounds in this quaint village on the prairie, with the #1 offering on Lindsborg's website being Bethany College's cafeteria.  The only pitfall here, besides the fact that it is a school lunch, is that you can only dine here during the school year. If you visit Lindsborg during the summer, you will have to settle for fare from one of the other fine eating establishments, such as Casey's Carryout Pizza.  I wonder if Casey serves that with Lingonberry jam.

Number 2 on the list of attractions in Lingsborg, or Little Sweden as the locals call it, is Coronado Heights.  This winner of one of Kansas' 8 Wonders of Kansas Geography is supposedly a historical and natural delight.  My guess is that it is on the 8 Wonders list because it is Coronado HEIGHTS, which in a state as flat as Kansas, is saying something.

The third attraction list is of art galleries in the town.  After all the dancing and smorgasbording I intend to do in October in Little Sweden, I do not know how much time I will have to observe art, but I am going to be sure to make time to visit Hemsljod, "An Adventure in Swedish Tradition", which made the list of the 8 Wonders of Kansas Customs list, for it's traditional and pop art Dala Horse Factory!  This gallery also makes the #4 attraction category of Swedish Gift Shops.

And finally on their top 5 attractions list, Lindsborg has many historical buildings and walking tours to offer.  None of which sound as fun a ride on Fala, the Dala Brick Road, or smorgasbord.

As you can see, Lindsborg, is in no shortage of class and culture.  Enjoy the following video so you, too can plan a visit to Little Sweden on the Prairie.

  Let me know what you think in the comments because right now, I 

Jag Maste Mosey!  (Gotta Mosey!)