Daytripper - Min Svenska Semester

After finally getting some good travel weather here in Colorado, I decided to make a trek with the family.  I figured I might as well kill two birds with one stone.  I would prepare for my fall trip to Lindsborg, KS, where I will be searching for Dala Horses while dancing in the street, AND buy some much needed new bowls.  And when you are buying cheap consumer goods and rubbing elbows with all things Swedish here in the States, you can only be at one place!

IKEA.

Yes, I know everything one buys at IKEA is only expected to last a short time.  But, I am still not convinced that is because it is poor quality.  I think it has something to do with the fact that we Americans cannot read the Swedish assembly directions, nor can we understand the schematic pages included.  It matters not...IKEA is a one day Swedish Vacation.  A chance to experience a little bit of Scandinavia without paying big bucks and mental breakdowns to fly there.  It's perfect!  So off we went.

It has been a long time since I have gone to IKEA with the whole family.  As a matter of fact, I am not sure Lizard Boy has ever been, and in his 6 little years, I know Spidey has never set foot inside.  Even the Big Kahuna hasn't braved the store since Junior was a baby, 12 or 13 years ago!  Have you ever had that experience where something seemed pretty cool when you went with your friends, but then you went again with your family and you had a whole different filter?  The things that were "neat" before, are slightly wrong now that you are with children?  Yeah, that happened to me, too.

It's not that IKEA is a bad place.  It's just...hmmm...it's just....uhhhh....it's just...not quite right in the head.  It is kind of like going to the circus.  You know it is supposed to be fun.  You know it should awe and amaze you.  But, really, you're just waiting for a clown to rip out a Psycho knife and go to town on the audience!  Somethin' ain't quite right.  And going to the retail moderskepp (mother ship) with my kids made me acutely aware of that fact!

Still trying to figure out what I am talking about?  Let me give you some examples:

Probably the most difficult thing to overcome, at first, is that nothing is as it seems. Due to the items' "unique European design", it is hard to tell what their use is.  Swedish things don't look like American things.  So, we need labels.  Which IKEA complies with...not that it helps us understand Scandinavian reasoning. Nothing is just a cup or a vase or a blanket.  No, they all have crazy names. Take for instance...this unusual item.

In the words of Lizard Boy..."What IS that?"  Unfortunately, I could not answer him.  The good news on this particular item, however, is that it did come with a label....

Ahhhh, yes, of course!  A bowl!  I never would have guessed with all the holes in it, that it would be a device for eating, say, soup, out of!  Those wacky Swedes!  Ha ha, chuckle, chuckle, cough, cough....gag.

To my chagrin, this was the last item that was clearly labeled.  Everything else was just a crap shoot!  Some things were obvious, like this lovely child's toy:

It is obviously a play tent.  In fact, in IKEA-ese, it is a:

That was an easy one.  But from there on out, no names gave any clue as to what the item was!  If I had been given a handful of tags with instructions to match it to the item in the store they represented...I would still be there!  Honestly, I felt like I was trapped in Disney's The Little Mermaid.  I was looking for Snarfblatts and Dinglehoffers the whole time I was there.  

But the labeling turned out to be the least of my worries.  

Really the most sinister side of IKEA became evident as we entered the Children's section, or as they call it, Smol-something-or-other.  I can't remember anymore.  It's all just a tangle of letters and umlauts after awhile!!  Anyway...the kids section is where I began to have grave concerns regarding bringing my children to IKEA.  This should have been the "safe" section of the store, but it was like the carnival.  Bright colored, inviting, with fun music and little animals frolicking on all of their wares....but you were still waiting for a wicked carnie to jump out at you at any moment!  It seemed innocuous at first.  But that's how they hook you.  It is so inviting, the barnavdelning (children's section).  They entice the youngsters with a fun little entrance that puts them on their knees to crawl into the Rabbit Hole that leads them to some freakish version of Wonderland (and that is saying something, because Alice in Wonderland is freakish already!)

I should have known all was not as it seemed.  Considering this foreboding entrance...

Oh, sure, at first glance it looks like all  friendship and huggy hearts, but what it really is is just a reworking of this little lovely...

Dead Kids Tell No Tales

  Once you make your way through the crawlspace, IKEA then starts instilling a false sense of security in your children.  Like the bully at school who befriends you first and then pummels you for lunch money later!  It seems innocent enough...sweet bunnies in magicians' hats.  

Or cute Moosenkuffen:

Or Frogelmonkeystats:

Toys for children.  Sweet children.  Sweet toys.  But in reality, it is just like the evil Queen and King in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang...luring children out into the streets with toys, candy and Swedish Meatballs and then locking them up in prison!  As a matter of fact, I am pretty sure Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is Swedish for, "We got you now, you little pipsqueaks!"

Note the driver's Evil Magician Hat!

Before you know it, your children are spirited away from you as they wander further into the IKEA Children's Section, where the Super Store continues their sick plot to completely wig your kids out!  It is all a subtle attack to play with your kids' heads.  For example, look at these sweet curtains, with the very popular owl motif we see everywhere...

Cute, right?  Moons and sleepytime birds watching over your little sweet peas.  Doesn't get much more innocent, does it?  OR DOES IT????  Have a closer look....

Just as your little darlings are saying, "Good Night Moon" to their dreamy curtains, this GIANT spider comes into view!  REALLY?  Do Swedes not have enough trouble trying to get their kids to sleep like we Americans do??  WHY do there need to be tarantulas hiding in every pleat?!  Mean, I tell you...just plain contemptible!  

But maybe you are one of the smart ones.  You see the poisonous spider on these curtains, so you opt for animal friend curtains instead.  Something to send your kiddos off to Sweet Dreamland.  Furry, fuzzy, fun and cute. 

What could be more inviting to Dreamville than these little critters trotting along.  In fact, they seem to be in a hurry to get to Sandland.  On closer observance, though, we see their pace has nothing at all to do with getting to sleep.  They are actually trying to escape the jowls of their fearsome enemy!

Ah yes, nothing (in Sweden) says, "Sleep Tight!" like the ravenous Big, Bad Wolf!  That poor unsuspecting porcupine is just like your innocent babies!!!!  

So what is a kid to do when they are surrounded by hulking spiders and murderous wolves in their bedroom at night?  Hide in their little garden-themed bedding of course.  (also available at IKEA)

Now, THAT's more like it.  A precious garden to lay down their little sleepy heads.  Tranquil and serene.  Or is it?  I ask you....OR IS IT?!  Because look at who oversees the garden!

Oh sure, there are little hearts between the couple.  But, c'mon.  You know this is all you see when you look at this bedspread:

Also Scandinavian, I might add....Freaks!

How is THAT supposed to relax a Kindergartner?!  It's just a nightmare waiting to happen!!!  It's that kind of freakshow that caused Jef to ask, upon escaping the Kids' Nightmare on Alm Gata, "Is that a chair or a dead frog?"  You be the judge....it's hard to tell at IKEA.

Once, we got out of the Children's area, we were hungry from wandering the IKEA maze for THREE HOURS.  So, we meandered around for another half hour as we tried to find our way upstairs to the cafe, where we found this little peace of mind before ordering dinner:

No horse meat there!  No matter...we might not have cared.  We were just hungry, scared and scarred tourists at this point!  We just needed food and an escape route! Which we found, tak och lov!

As we counted ourselves lucky to make it out of IKEA without losing any children, we noticed two things that may explain why IKEA executives have hindered judgment:

A little too much of this available to them in the store:

Just WHAT makes it so festive??

And check out what they supply in the parking lot on the way out:

In any case, I ended up with some fantastic bowls at a fraction of the cost of what I would have been charged at a less adventurous store, so I count it as a profitable vacation.

Have you ever been to IKEA?  Let me know your survival stories in the comments section!  Right now, I

Gotta Mosey!

Packing with Butterfly

Woot!  Today, Gotta Mosey welcomes its first Guest Blogger!!!  This is an exciting moment for the blog!  So with no further ado, enjoy learning to how to pack as instructed by my daughter, Butterfly!

“As long as I’m not living out of a suitcase, I’m happy.” - Jacquelyn Jablonski

My life is a big trip. Since 2009, I’ve been out of my homestate over twenty times, culminating in what is easily the biggest road trip of my life - my five-month stint as a touring intern with the Institute for Cultural Communicators! This trip was five months in an unpredictable van with three pieces of luggage - a duffel bag, a garment bag and a purse. If that doesn’t teach you how to be a great packer, nothing else will! Before my tour, I used to stress for days about how to bring all the stuff I was positive I would need (read: I like to prepare for the worst by bringing absolutely everything I would possibly need, which comes in handy when it isn’t being a giant pain as it comes to packing). Now, I’ve discovered the perfect system for how to be an excellent packer and I come to share my extensive (cough, or something, cough) experience and knowledge of packing with the adventurous travelers of Gotta Mosey!

Here are a few probable packing problems you may encounter.

Scenario: Your trip is taking you from the land of Sun and Spring to the desolate wilderness of winter. Umm, how is all your cold weather gear supposed to fit in that suitcase?

Solution: First of all, why in the world are you leaving your springtime paradise?! If you don’t like the warmth, you could always send it here! (One of the many reasons I am SO excited to be headed to California in a couple weeks! SUNSHINE. NO BLIZZARDS.) If you decide that you still want, for some unavoidable reason, to travel to the land of frostbite, here are a few packing tips.

• Wear your thickest items on the plane. Poofy sweaters, clunky boots, and your winter coat are all good items to NOT pack. If you layer right, you won’t  even have to wear it all for the whole flight - a coat or sweater can come off and be stowed under your seat.
• Roll clothes tightly (you can even use a strip of blue painters’ tape to keep things tightly rolled) and fit those into the bottom of the suitcase. The heavier things can weight them down and make it possible to get your suitcase shut all the way.
  
  
  
  
  

Scenario: Your shoes are all made out of brick, you had to bring four gold bars and a small elephant in your suitcase. Fifty pounds? Not gonna touch that.

Solution: As unlikely as it is that you’ll be packing gold bars and elephants, suitcase weight is a trouble for all of us uber-prepared (read: frightfully overprepared) packers. So before you despair of needing a forklift for your suitcase, try these tips:

• Start with a smaller suitcase. You’ll be surprised how much you can fit in, and a compact space means less likelihood of running over your weight limit.
• Consider how much heavy material you’ll need to pack. If you need three pairs of shoes, a full bottle of shampoo instead of a travel size, and a canister of lemonade powder (don’t laugh - this is a true story and the lemonade almost put me over my weight limit), you’ll want to consider how to pack your other heavy things. Can you put some of them in a carry-on? Bring lighter weight clothes? Pick some of it up when you arrive?
• Fifty pounds is a LOT. I traveled for five months and my suitcase was only forty-five pounds. You can do it. It’s very possible.
  
  
  
  
  

Scenario: Uh-oh. Split zipper. Clothes everywhere. Not. Good.

Solution: True story. The first time I traveled out of state my zipper split early in the trip and I carried around a messy suitcase for two weeks. Bad news and so embarrassing. While it is a trick to deal with a split zipper, here are a few ways to work with a broken suitcase:

• Carry safety pins and pin shut the opening to your suitcase. Use many pins!
• Repack your suitcase so that it’s less full and it doesn’t push the zipper out too much.
  
  
  
  
  

Scenario: You need to pack a jar of vinegar/live marmoset/dozen bottles of pills/bee hive and now your bag is sloshy/squealing/rattling/buzzing. You’re starting to get worried that you’re going to get kicked out of the airplane. Forcibly. While in the air. Unkindly.

Solution: Hey, we don’t judge here. If you need to pack something totally bizarre, that’s okay. We understand that. I’ve possibly packed weirder. Try these things to pack your strange luggage:

• If it makes noise, package it in socks, or if it is too large, a piece of clothing. This will lessen suspicion in your odd luggage.
• If it’s drippy or breakable, wrap it in a plastic bag, and try to lay it in an additional layer that you don’t mind getting a little messy (a towel, pillowcase, or inner pocket work well.)
• If it’s alive... um... Sorry. I really have no help for you there. If it’s alive, make sure I’m not sitting next to you on this plane!

And there you have it, adventurers! Butterfly’s foolproof plan to excellent packing. Keep practicing, and someday, you too may be able to pack like a boss! What are your best packing tips, tricks or terrors? Share them in the comments, because I’m always up to learn more about packing. In the meantime, it’s time to get packing because I

Gotta Mosey!

Spring Thaw Singin'

"California dreaming on such a winter's day." - The Mamas and the Papas

The main thing I am going to miss when I travel to California in ELEVEN days is listening to a California playlist for two days while driving into the state.  This year, since I am flying, I won't have that kind of ramp up time.  I get two and half hours.  That's it.  But, I have decided to compile a list anyway, and listen to it for the whole week before I leave.  I think it will add a sense of enjoyment to the mundane tasks of printing and organizing.

Feel free to join me.  If you are in a wintery sort of place, it may be just the bit of sunshine you have been needing.

With no further ado, I give you - Jill's Top 5 Songs of Her California Playlist


5.  California Sun - The Ramones
It is COLD where I live in Colorado presently.  I am looking forward to a nice thaw.  The beauty of this song is that it starts warming me up just listening!  AND...this rendition is performed by the Ramones!  Which makes it totally cool.  So, you get a Hot/Cool thing going on, which I believe honors my home Sunshiney State and my current Beautiful but Really Chilly State of residence!

4.  Route 66 - John Mayer

There is no denying...I am going to miss the Road Trip to California.  The ONLY nice thing about driving through Gallup, New Mexico, is that at least you are on a historic road...AND you can sing this FAB song over and over and never get sick of it!  

3.  Do You Know the Way to San Jose? - Dionne Warwick

Everyone knows California Girls, Surfer Bird, Ride the Wild Surf, and Wipeout.  Southern California has some amazing beaches.  But, I can't stand Southern California.  Smog, traffic and the Anaheim Mighty Ducks make me steer clear of the whole bottom half of the state.  My heart resides in Northern California.  In the beauty of the Redwoods, big ocean bluffs and....the Silicon Valley (?!).  Well, a lot has changed since Dionne recorded this song...there is less room and probably more fame and fortune are found in the Valley up north than in Hollywood.  But, I have a lot of friends in San Jose just like Dionne....so I guess it hasn't changed THAT much.  Great folks still live there!

2. Folsom Prison Blues - Midas Whale

Okay...I got no one to visit there.  Just making that clear.  But, my guilty pleasure is NBC's The Voice and two days ago they had a magnificent team sing this song and this is an underhanded attempt to expose you to it.  Check it out!  (totally downloading the song...you should too!)

1.  California Dreaming - The Mamas and the Papas

If I have to explain why this is on the list, you have never heard the song.

Ahhhh....I can already sense the feeling returning to my toes!  I am thawing out just listening to these classics!  What are your favorite travel tunes?  Let me know in the comments section....I have ELEVEN days to fill with music!  Right now, I

Gotta Mosey!

California Cool

"I don't mind not being cool."  said no one EVER in California.

As I continue to wait out the bad weather, I am perusing the California Pinterest Boards.  There is one thing I am reminded of when I look at all the pins.  It may have its problems, yet nothing but NOTHING says "Cool" the way California does.

The state's name comes from a Spanish romance novel set on an imaginary paradise island called, California.  The name seems to continue to mean "extraordinary" to this day!  If you want to make something better, brighter, cooler...tag it "California".  It's kind of the Elvis Presley of US States!

Need more convincing?  Consider the following:

Ferrari CALIFORNIA Convertible

1968 CALIFORNIA Special Mustang

Convertible CALIFORNIA Car Beach Cruiser

Baja (CALIFORNIA) Bug

Affordable CALIFORNIA Housing

Disney's CALIFORNIA Adventure

Vans CALIFORNIA

This is probably a good time to mention that while adding the label, California, to tennis shoes, pizza, amusement parks, cars and houses makes them jump multiple points on the Coolness Factor Charts, it also makes them about 300% more expensive than say, Osh Kosh (Wisconsin) clothing.  Because, really, what cool stuff ever came from Wisconsin?  Cheese?  Turns out California has the market on Cool Cheese, too.  Don't believe me?  Check it out...

One last thing to take note of is the California Cool food subculture.  

CALIFORNIA Grilled Cheese

CALIFORNIA Hot Dog

CALIFORNIA Clam Chowder

CALIFORNIA Rolls

CALIFORNIA Eggs Benedict

CALIFORNIA Roll CAT FOOD!!

All of these meals and more have a distinctly California flavor to them.  And by California, I mean "avocado".  And by "Avocado", I mean, "add 2.00 to any menu item".  Just another pitfall of enjoying the special culture that is California.

I have to admit, all this cruising Pinterest is leaving me hungry (literally) for California! I need to work on planning some more.  What is your favorite California Cool?

Gotta Mosey!

Only in California

"I like this place and could willingly waste my time in it."  ~ William Shakespeare

As I continued my exploration of Pinterest while being snowed in, I realized something;  growing up in California all my life, I didn't really have the chance to see how unique it was/is.  But now that I live out of state and have traveled to many other states, I can see that there is no state quite like California.  There are things that only grow there, only created there, only exist there and if you haven't experienced it, you are probably missing out...on something...not quite sure what, but surely there is some green hole in your life that can only be filled by a trip to the Golden State.  I am hoping that these sights and experiences will encourage you to plan a trip to my home state some day.

The most outstanding attributes of California, lie in it's natural beauty.  Nowhere in the world can you witness breathtaking beauty like Yosemite National Park and the awe inspiring coast of Big Sur.

Yosemite Valley

Big Sur

One of the lesser known natural wonders of California, though, are the La Brea Tar Pits.  Ironically located in, La Brea, California.  Brea is the Spanish word for tar, and also gross, as well as sticky and yucky.  Google it.  This area of Southern California is covered with pits of tar that trapped dinosaurs back in the olden days.  There are still dinosaurs stuck there...

Only, that's not a real dinosaur.  And, actually, no dinosaurs were ever there, just old and big mammals.  The remains of one person has been found there, too.   La Brea is really just a giant pool of flypaper.  Whatever wandered in to the tar pools, stayed there and got eaten by other animals who used the pits as animal traps.  You can't see any remains in the pits.  You just walk around the grounds admiring bubbling, stinking, asphaltum imagining animals are stuck in it.  And, like everything else in California, you pay for that privilege.  In my opinion, in a state that is in a constant state of road construction, it is wiser to save yourself the Tar Pits' 12.00 admission and set up on the side of the road that is being resurfaced and wait for a small, unsuspecting animal to wander by.

Another element that California is known for is uncommon wildlife.  The Tule Elk are a subspecies of elk native to California.  There are amazing elephant seals on the coast.  But one of the most unusual spectacles of wildlife is the California Condor. Scientists rescued the last of the condors in the late 80's and started a rigorous rehabilitation program.   Once nearly extinct, there are about 226 of them in the wild now.   The condor has a long and rich history with the indigenous peoples, as well as scientists, of the areas where they once flew in vast numbers.  And those people tell of the history of Condor.  Condor, it is said, used to steal people and chop their heads off while trying to drown Ground Squirrel in the blood according to the Mono tribe, whose name, loosely translated, means "Are you Scientists Crazy Saving that Murderous Bird?!". Here you can see their attack instincts in action:

But perhaps the most fascinating zoological species to inhabit California is one that may likely be extinct in the state now.  No, I am not talking about the Grizzly...which has been extinct in the state since the 1920's but is still on California's flag and remains their state animal to this day.  No, I am talking about Sasquatch.  There is no denying the existence of Bigfoot.  Here is proof, shot in California...

Most reports indicate Bigfoot is alive and well in the way north of California, where incidentally, most illegal marijuana is grown.  Though sightings have dwindled in California, Washington State, who, interestingly enough, just legalized marijuana still reports run-ins with the creatures frequently.  And in Canada, where they pass time by drinking Screech, Sasquatch still makes regular appearances.  Coincidence?  I think not.

There are so many incredible sights to see (or not see, in the case of Bigfoot) in California.  These are just a few that I realized other parts of the US have not been able to experience.  Sure, those other states have things that California does not, but I'm not headed to those states, so who cares?

Gotta Mosey!

Pinterest Travel Fashion Tips

"A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous." ~ Coco Chanel

Generally speaking, when one starts a travel blog, it is good if one, say, travels.  It kind of brings the whole experience of travel to life for blog followers, if the author shares their actual experiences.  Kind of neat how that works.

I travel quite a bit.  And by "quite a bit", I mean; sometimes.  But, in starting this blog, I committed to traveling much more.

But I live in Colorado.

Where it snows.

A lot.

And this year has been punishing.  Usually, where I live, we get snow, but it doesn't impact us much.  Living in the Colorado sunshine 300 days a year means that the snow melts before it can hinder you.  But, this year! Oh boy!  We are still short on snowfall....BUT...every time we get snow this year, it is in the form of a blizzard!  This has put quite a damper on my travel...and my travel blog.

So what is an adventurer to do when she is snowed in?  Glad you asked...

I spend a lot of time of Pinterest.

If you are like me, Pinterest just seemed like a lot of random stuff all in one place.  I didn't really get what to do with it.  It just seemed like something to do while I was stuck in a waiting room somewhere.  But, recently, Butterfly taught me more of the ins and outs of the board pinning site.  Seems I had been doing it wrong all along.  I had tried to use Pinterest practically.  If I saw something I would never use or ever do, I automatically ruled out pinning it.  I only pinned craft ideas for my co-op, recipes I would lose if I wrote them down and shoved them in my kitchen drawer filed them in a hard to reach place, ideas for entertaining and landscape ideas.  (Okay...landscape and yard decorating isn't practical given how I HATE gardening, but I was trying to inspire myself).

Since Butterfly freed me from the bondage of factual common sense, I have a new lease on travel life while I am snowed in!

Since I have thrown in the practicality towel on Pinterest, I decided to extend that mindset to my travel plans as well.  I know the most comfortable clothes to travel in are sweats and tennies, but I have decided that I want something more.  Forget the casual slop of current day travelers!  I intend to travel in style from now on.

Ah, the good ol' days...when flight attendants were stewardesses, airlines still gave you snacks for free and anyone could move about the cabin as they pleased!  But seriously, look at those suits...and I am talking about the women!

You may be thinking that this outfit is really only rational for travel with Dr. Watson on a foggy London escapade.  Agreed.  But, hey, this is Pinterest where anything goes!  I am particularly fond of the green cape and blue gloves, which I TOTALLY do NOT need on a trip to California, which, of course, in a Pinterest world, makes them perfect beach wear for my upcoming excursion!

I am not sure I can really call this outfit retro, as it is a steam punk outfit, which I think is futuristic, if our future never evolved technologically.  So, technically speaking, I think it counts as retro.  Don't quote me.  Anyway, the outfit is superb, and I want to wear it  the next time I go somewhere.  And also speak with a British accent when I do!

Admittedly, there will be some days where I just won't feel like wearing layers of capes and corsets, so I may want to wear something a little more roomy.  Still, I like the retro perspective on travel, so I am thinking this outfit may be my best bet for lazy travel wear days:

The nice thing about this outfit is, I can use the optional cape and backpack if the weather or accommodations turn ugly.

I like all of the above outfits because they have such a sense of flare and flamboyance to them.  But, sometimes, you just want to fit in.  So, this is what I will be wearing when I go to Asia (or San Francisco's Japantown for sushi):

This way, I won't stand out and attract too much attention as an "Ugly American", who is insensitive to the culture I am visiting.

I can't wait to board planes, trains and automobiles in these smart traveling fashions!  They bring a whole new element to vacationing for me!  I am a firm believer the the clothes not only make the person, but the trip, too!  But what about when I reach my destination?

Really, it depends on where one is traveling.  In my case, my soonest upcoming trip is to California.  There are the usual clothing options for beach and warm weather:  shorts, flip-flops, Vans.  But, I found a couple of  inspirational, can't-live-without-while-I'm-in-California items that I am sure you will appreciate, too!

Are these happenin' or what?  Oh yeah, with these babies, I can go right from the plane to swimming in the big, blue Pacific!  No waiting!  No changing!  Especially if I pair them with one of these hot bathing suits, which happen to also be completely appropriate for air travel...and church, for that matter!

Oh wait!  I just remembered, I HATE swimming in the ocean!  There are more sharks there than in the Monterey Bay Aquarium, which definitely puts ocean swimming on the banned list for me!  But, I do like the beach...and beach fashion.  So maybe something like these Venice Beach, CA necessities are better for me:

What do you think?  Even though I won't go in the ocean to surf, I can use the board to balance on the super cool tennis shoe skates!  Oh yeah, just call me Malibu Barbie Jill!

And these are just some of the gems I found on Pinterest for my travel planning! You should follow me. I can't wait to share more in the coming days!  Until then, I

Gotta Mosey!